i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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