Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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