my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
