Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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