Having a random hookup so left but love u
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize