i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
