he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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