So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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