She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
