I just saw a hot homeless man
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize