If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
