he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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