I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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