Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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