If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
