Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
