so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
no, he came in my armpit
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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