I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
