I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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