margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
