She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
