That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
false alarm, still single
Randomize
