Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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