I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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