I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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