Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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