R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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