Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize