walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
