next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Randomize
