At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
