to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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