Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
