I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
is it fun? or sober?
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