Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i think i have herpe
just one?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize