My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize