I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
