so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize