then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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