I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
