i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
