Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
