Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
