Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
