Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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