My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
