I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
