Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
