I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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