yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
