he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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