He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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