no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
