I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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