well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
