on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
