Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
