he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
