put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
