I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
