there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
